Quik Trip

WOW... life has been busy.  I have been traveling more and more lately.  I was recently in a couple of different youth groups!  God has been changing how I approach "preaching" engagements.  

A great eye opening experience occurred at several different places.  I was in one area and God made it very clear that I was supposed to preach about purpose.  Through that I discovered that many students and people in general are living without purpose.  And many have said if they had a purpose they would change how they live!  Isn't that insane!  It also made me think.  Am I making decisions based on my God given purpose?  The answer is YES for the most part but realistically there are things I would change.  

One girl from this youth group has drastically changed her life.  Her youth pastor sent me an email and told me that she had said she never thought about having a purpose.  That seems so foreign to me.  How could she not know she has a purpose?  But aren't most of us walking around living a life that lacks purpose?  We get stuck in the monotony of life and forget that our decisions matter!  Every single one of them.  We get up, we get ready, we go to work, we come home, we make dinner, we get ready for bed, we go to bed, and then we repeat.  It makes me think of the instructions on a shampoo bottle!  Rinse and repeat!  

Think about that in conjunction with your own life!  Are you only living with a "rinse and repeat" pattern?  If you only had one more day to live what would you want to do with it?  Would it be your usual routine?  If not then throw some spice in life and change it up a bit.  You never "know" when you are going to die!  Don't live in the "rinse and repeat" mode!  That is restructuring my life!

Latest travels

Over the past couple of weeks I have kept myself busy being on the road a bit.  I've spoken in Correctionville and Bettendorf.  While in Correctionville I saw a lovely sky!  The weather was beginning to get a bit warmer and that was a special treat.  But only one week later the weather was unfortunately going backwards!  Both trips were wonderful and God did some awesome great things!  

When I left Bettendorf it was pretty late.  I didn't get home until around 2 am and felt like death!  I was so tired.  About the last 1/4 of the trip I was struggling to stay awake so I thought of a great plan.  I had just finished up a bottle of water and figured if I dump the last couple drops on my face that should help a little bit.  Well turned out that there was more than a couple drops and I got a little wetter than anticipated.  But it did the job and woke me up!  

It's a little incredible and overwhelming what doors God is beginning to open up for me.  I'm learning a new level of trust.  I never used to speak this much and I'm amazed a little that people are allowing me to come to their churches.  It's not that I've never spoken or that I'm even a superstar it is just very humbling that people think I can do a good enough of a job.  They trust you to go after God to get what they are supposed to hear specifically.  I feel extremely honored that God continues to stretch and grow me.  And I'm so thankful that He doesn't just let me be.

The coloring begins... with green!

In so many ways I've discovered how easy it is to confuse me.  It seems like so often I find myself running and running.  It feels similar to being on a treadmill except I can't see the treadmill.  I see nothing!  It is completely dark all around me.  I want to slow down but I'm afraid of the result.  I want to run harder but can't seem to find the energy.  I don't know if I am about to run off a cliff or into something dangerous.  My mind is swirling, heart pounding, and I am running short of breath!  I've lost all sense of direction.  I'm not even sure which way is up and which way is down.  Do you ever feel that way?  Some people refer to this as anxiety but that isn't quite what I am describing.

I've boiled all of this down to a hunger that is deeper and more indescribable than I've ever known.  When I first took the plunge into giving my life to Christ I thought I was at the highest point I could reach.  Looking back I still feel that way!  Now I have reached the highest point, but I know there is more.  I don't know how I could have ever thought that first feeling as "it".

As I've gone on, I've learned that I am horrible at stopping.  But why?  I feel as though I am constantly running and I sometimes forget why!  I have to regularly ask myself why am I doing what I am doing and what do I want to be doing.  Then I have to be realistic of course!  I have to shift my perspective slightly and see the truth!  I'M TIRED!  Most women I know would love to sleep longer and have more time to get ready.  I am such a woman!  But God keeps sweetly reminding me why I am alive and it gets my blood pumping even more!  My mind begins racing because "I can't stop!  There is so much to do!"  And God again reminds me why I am here!  Well that there just confuses me.  I know why I am here.  Isn't that why I work so hard and constantly keep myself on the go?  I don't sleep and I rarely take time to eat!  Isn't this what God wants?  I don't understand.  And again God reminds me why I am here!  This is when the frustration sets in and I push even harder.  Ok, I'll cut back even more on the meals and I'll stay up later and try and get up earlier.  I'll work at the office longer.  I'll give you my all, God!  Now I should be doing exactly what He wants.  This should make God smile!

Now I've done all of that and why is it that I feel so drained?  Isn't God pleased?  Doesn't He understand that I'm doing this to honor Him?  All of this has been on my mind today because I am so tired.  It was one of those days that when you wake up your first thought is "I can't wait to go back to bed!"  This process is a common occurrence for me.  I've had the whole thought of rest really on my mind.  I've been hearing references about rest for weeks now.  And here I am, still exhausted!  

As my mind has been full with thought God brought the saying "Color My Crayons" back to my mind.  You see, God said those words to me when I started my blog.  I thought they were a little weird but I liked it.  When He brought them to mind today in my heart I felt that He said today I start with GREEN!  So I looked up the biblical meaning of green.  Here it is: New life, growth, prosperity, flourish, fruitfulness, praise, RESTING IN GOD, and the color of the Trinity from: Ps 23:2, Genesis 1:30, Luke 23:31, Mark 6:39 Tribe of Judah - Life; Health, Ps 92:14, Ps 1:3, Life everlasting, 1 John 5:12.  Posterity Ps 37:35

Isn't it so great that God doesn't let us go!  He gave me such a wonderful color today to add to my crayon box.  

SILENCE...

I have found myself in Decorah today!  I drove for about 4 hours, only getting turned around a couple of times, to speak at the church in Decorah.  I'm speaking about Youth Alive!  (Which is slowly becoming my new favorite thing to talk about.)  It's exciting when God not only opens a door but plants a passion in you for the new experience!

For amusements sake I have a story!  I was looking forward to a night alone in a hotel!  I got to the hotel around 8ish and decided I would go grab some food.  At about 10 I started winding down and preparing to go to bed.  I was oh so enjoying the quietness and alone time, fully expecting a great night of sleep!  Once I shut off the tv and was ready to slip into bed I could hear a group of people talking and laughing rather loudly right behind the wall that the bed is against!  I couldn't help but chuckle because I believe the loud people were in the lobby.  It was actually kind of them to go to the lobby to avoid disturbing other guests near them but unfortunately I could hear them quite well.  It sounded as though they were in my room!  So I decided since I obviously wasn't going to be sleeping that I would finally create a blog!

I had been seriously considering a blog for the past week or so and figured I might as well go for it!  I just find it so funny at the timing of things.  Had I not had the interruption to my sleep I probably would have gone on for another week or so thinking about it and potentially never creating it!  God gives us divine moments and encounters for a reason.  It may seem simple and maybe disconnected for you, but I believe God kept me awake to make a blog.  So I hope you all sleep fantastically tonight!  The loud group has made their way to their own rooms and it is now quiet!